Tuesday, November 22, 1994

since i last saw you

one week
five days
eleven hours
forty-nine minutes
fifty-four seconds
since i last saw you
for 1,079,394 times
i thought of you.

my heart was a unit circle,
and you were its origin,
you were its center.

i listened to music
and you were the beautiful songs,
the harmony was in your face,
the melody was in your grace.

i felt nature hug me
and you were her arms.

it was dark nights,
but you were a full moon,
slowly waning to a smile
that kept my dark nights bright.

all through that time
you were here
near me --
you were oxygen,
you made me breathe.
in me --
you became my heart,
you gave me life.

you were you
and i was i.
oh how i sigh
now you aren't mine.
that the greatest thing in my mind
is only the thought of
you
only the thought of you.
but since the last time i saw you,
i did not love having only the thought of you.
i loved having only you.
i loved only you
and i still do
and i forever will do.
i love you.

Monday, January 31, 1994

forgiveness

january 1994

take a deep look into my eyes
tell me what do you see
tears are fallin’ like eternal rain
my problems are floodin’ me

what you doin maybe is just right
i know that i deserve it
but can’t you make it a little more light?
and please forgive me
please, please

baby i’m sorry
i know i was wrong
it’s your forgiveness
i’ve needed for so long
all my sadness
will go if you’ll let it
baby know that all i want
is for us to be good friends
again

how much hurt i’ve taken inside
not knowin’ what i should do
i don’t know what’s on your mind
but i know i had to tell you

all i know is i’ve lost your friendship
somethin’ now i value more than love
takin’ the pain, can’t do with hidin’ it
baby it’s your forgiveness that’s all i ask

going back to the times that we were old friends / i never realized that i made it end
i’m blamin’ myself for the whole thing / situations made me stop givin’ you rings
on the phone, yeah i know that you have lost your trust in me / and that’s the same thing goin’ on with jing
i never really want to lose any friends / i value it more than your love so please give me a second chance